Bullying

Bullying is a major problem in American schools. Until recently, the issue was brushed off as an inevitable and ultimately harmless part of childhood. After tragedies like the Columbine school shooting, people are more aware of the severity of the situation. Victims of bullying often experience depression, anxiety, loneliness, erratic eating and sleeping patterns, and loss of interest. These effects can continue to adulthood. Many bullied students do worse in school, and are more likely to skip class or drop out of school altogether. A small percentage of these children respond by turning violent themselves. Out of 15 school shootings in the 1990's, 12 of the shooters were past bullying victims.

Bullying can take several forms, including physical abuse, verbal taunts, online harassment, or exclusion from the group. The bully has power over the victim, whether it is physical, social, economic or another type of power. Power imbalance is the main reason why most bullied children are in one or more disadvantaged or minority group. Children pick up on the disparity of power from their families, society, and the media. They see that certain groups of people are characterized as different, strange, or wrong. They learn how to recognize which classmates fit into those groups and judge them accordingly.

Because of this system, LGBTQ youth are often bullied by their peers. Last year, 90% of LGBTQ students reported some form of bullying or harassment. Around two thirds experienced sexual harassment. 82% of transgender youth feel unsafe at school. Over 30% have missed at least one day of school out of fear for their personal safety. Aside from the emotional and physical trauma caused by this type of daily abuse, there are also serious long-term ramifications. The GPA for students who experienced bullying due to their sexual orientation is lower, on average, than other students. LGBTQ youth who feel high levels of rejection are three times more likely to engage in substance abuse and risky sexual behavior, compared to other children. They are eight times more likely to try to commit suicide. This is not to say that bullying causes suicide. However, bullying, combined with several other factors like discrimination, depression, rejection, and lack of support, can lead an LGBTQ youth to attempt suicide.

Here is a link to give you hope for the future if you are being bullied:
It Gets Better Project

Bullying can happen online as well as in person. Cyberbullying can be just as hurtful, if not more. The way that the internet and many social media sites are structured allows cyberbullying to flourish. Bullies can harass and hurt other people without fear of consequences, inside the walls of their own homes. Sites that allow anonymous comments leave victims with virtually no way of avoiding their bully. A national survey of students 13 to 21 years old found nearly 50% of LGBTQ youth have been cyberbullied. There are measures you can take to protect yourself from cyberbullying. Take care to protect your passwords and private accounts. Do not respond or share cyberbullying posts. Instead, save them and any information about them and report them to the social media site, or web or cell phone provider. If possible, block the cyberbully's account. Some messages are illegal and should be reported to the police. If the cyberbully threatens violence, shows child pornography, sends sexually explicit messages to a minor, takes a picture or video of someone in a private place, stalks someone, or commits hate crimes, they can and should be reported to law enforcement. Depending on the school and the state, you can also report cyberbullying to the school itself. Check your school's policies and state laws before doing so.

Bullying can also have a negative effect on the instigator. Bullies have an increased likelihood of fighting, vandalizing property, participate in sex at an earlier age, and dropping out of school. As adults, they are more likely to abuse substances, be convicted of crimes, and abuse their romantic partners or children. Children who witness bullying are more likely to miss school, use drugs, and have poorer mental health. Basically, bullying is physically, emotionally, and developmentally damaging for everyone involved.

Fortunately, there are numerous ways of preventing bullying from happening as a student, a parent, or a teacher or administrator. There are also federal and state laws that may help, depending on the situation and the state. If you are being bullied, you can try to talk calmly and rationally to the bully and ask them to stop. You can also try to laugh it off, which may surprise the bully into stopping. If this is too hard or seems unsafe, walk away. Do not fight back. If you can, find an adult you trust to help you. After the incident, report what happened to the school officials. If they are unresponsive, get your parents or guardians involved, if you think they will be supportive and understanding. In the meantime, stay away from your bully and avoid isolated areas or places where you could get cornered.

Students who see bullying happening can also do their part. Sometimes stepping in and standing up for the one being bullied is all that's needed to stop an incident. A safer way might be to just go over to the bullied student and make up any excuse to get them away from their bully. This way, you don't need to confront the bully directly. If these options seem too scary or dangerous, try to find an adult to help. Afterwards, try to help the bullied student and be as friendly as possible. One of the effects of bullying is loneliness so befriending the student may help them to deal with their situation. There is also less of a chance they will get bullied in the future if they are with another person.

As a parent, the most important thing to do is listen to your child and don't dismiss their concerns. If your child comes to you and asks for help, listen carefully and then go and be an advocate for your child. If they don't come to you, that doesn't mean everything is alright. It is important to stay alert and aware of what happens in your child's day-to-day life. Schools are more likely to intervene if a parent is involved. It is also imperative to be aware of your own influence. For example, showing that you are compassionate and accepting towards other people regardless of any differences of faith, race, sex, gender, sexuality, etc sets a good example for your child. This also makes you more approachable in case there is a problem at school, and teaches your child how to behave towards others.

If your child is being bullied because of their gender identity, or sexual orientation, you can find more information on the subject at this website:

PFLAG - Safe Schools

Teachers and administrators can do their part as well. In 2013, 61.6% of LGBTQ students who reported bullying said the school did nothing. LGBTQ students have performed significantly better in schools with in-depth anti-bullying policies. Punishing bullying and harassment openly and explaining why you are doing so helps the students to understand the consequences of bullying and lets victims know they are not alone. It is also beneficial to create safe spaces that are bully-free. GSAs or Gay Straight Alliances are one way to do this for LGBTQ students. The Equal Access Act makes it illegal for schools to ban such clubs if they have other clubs or groups that are "non-curricular". You can help your transgender students to feel safer and included by refraining from separating the students by gender or using gender-specific language when referring to the class as a whole. All-gender bathrooms are also important to send a signal to transgender and non-transgender students that intolerance is not acceptable.

Here is a list of websites that can help you learn more about how to respect your LGBTQ students and protect them from bullying:

Trevor Project - Education Training for Adults
National Association of School Psychologists - FAQ

There are no federal laws against bullying itself, although if the bullying is based on race, nationality, skin color, sex, age, disability, or religion, it is also considered discriminatory harassment, which is illegal. Unfortunately, gender identity and sexual orientation are not on this list. LGBTQ youth are often harassed because they won't conform to gender norms, which could be considered sexual harassment which is covered under Title IX. Many states have laws or policies that cover bullying and LGBTQ bullying specifically. Check here to see if your state is among them:

StopBullying.gov - State Laws

Sources

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Dec. 2016.

“Bullying LGBT Youth.” Mental Health America. Mental Health America. Web. 09 Dec. 2016. 

“Cultivating Respect: Safe Schools for All.” PFLAG. PFLAG, n.d. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.

“Education.” Education Training for Adults. The Trevor Project, n.d. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.

“Effects of Bullying.” StopBullying.gov. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, n.d. 

Web. 09 Dec. 2016.

“The Facts about Bullying.” #SpiritDay. Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, n.d. Web. 

09 Dec. 2016.

“Gender Inclusive Schools FAQ.” LGBTQ Youth. National Association of School Psychologists, 

n.d. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.

“LGBT Youth.” Information about Bullying. Stop Bullying Now, n.d. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.

“Policies and Laws.” StopBullying.gov. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, n.d. 

Web. 09 Dec. 2016.

“School Bullying is Nothing New, But Psychologists Identify New Ways to Prevent It.” 

Research in Action. American Psychological Association, n.d. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.

“Transgender Bullying: A National Epidemic.” NOBullying.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.

“What is the It Gets Better Project?” It Gets Better Project. It Gets Better, n.d. Web. 09 2016.